Obvious Decapitation
by Gunso
Summary: A Halloween Special! The gang is in a spooky forest cabin, when suddenly scenes from a bad horror movie begin to play out before them! Light SS and ET!


I don't own CCS. And as far as I know, there is no such movie as "Obvious Decapitation" It would be hilarious if there was.  
  
  
  
  
  
Obvious Decapitation  
  
  
  
"This place is a dump," Syaoran frowned as he spoke. He suddenly waved his arms around wildly when he walked into a spider web.  
  
"I don't know that I would call it a dump, My Little Descendant," Eriol adjusted his glasses with a barely visible smile on his face, "It's just a unique opportunity to test our cleaning abilities."  
  
"Hold still, Syaoran!" Sakura tried to brush the webs out of his hair, "Eriol's right, we just need to clean it up a little."  
  
"You call this a little, Sakura?" a small yellow form floated past them into the old cabin, "I bet nobody's been here in ten years!" Kero floated back into the light, crossing his legs and arms in midair, "I hate to admit it, but I have to agree with the brat. I mean, all it's got is a VCR! No DVD player! When was this place built anyway?"  
  
"According to the brochure, 1949," Tomoyo chimed in, "But then, the copyright on the brochure is 1985."  
  
"There, you see!" Syaoran pointed back into the dark cabin, "The TV and VCR are probably too old to even hook up your camera!"  
  
The dark haired girl's eyes began to water, holding her video camera to her chest. "Do you really think so? (Sniffle) But then I'll have wait until we get home to show you guys my video. (Sniffle)"  
  
"Syaoran!" his girlfriend's sudden frown surprised him, "Why did you say something like that? Now you've upset Tomoyo!"  
  
"I. . .uh. . ." he stuttered, then hung his head, "Sorry."  
  
"Don't worry, Tomoyo," Eriol put a hand on her shoulder, "I'm sure that we'll be able make it work somehow. After all, I'm a sorcerer. I know I can whip up something."  
  
"Anyway," the Card Mistress interrupted, trying to keep spirits from sinking too low, "Let's just get started cleaning. Maybe this place isn't so bad under all the dust."  
  
{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}  
  
A couple hours later, the sun had set on the forest cabin that held the group. The inside had undergone a radical transformation, complete with leather sofas, an oak bookcase filled with various tomes, ceiling fan, red velvet curtains, and a giant zebra skin rug in the middle of the floor.  
  
"Whose idea was the rug again?" Tomoyo asked with her head tilted to the side.  
  
"Mine, of course!" Kero landed on her shoulder, "What do you think? Very 'old cabin in the forest', isn't it?"  
  
A sweatdrop appeared on the side of her head, "I suppose you are right about that."  
  
"Alright, everyone have a seat," Eriol motioned to the sofas, arranged in front of the 57 inch, wide screen Sony HDTV that had appeared, "I have something special in store for us!"  
  
Tomoyo took a seat on one of the couches, while Sakura and Syaoran sat on the other. As Kero settled on top of the head of the zebra, he scratched his head, "You know something's been bothering me. This is a school trip, and on most school trips like this, the guys and girls sleep in different cabins. So why are we the only co-ed cabin?"  
  
They all looked at Eriol who had been messing with the large TV. He looked over his shoulder to find everyone looking at him. "What?" he smiled innocently, "Why is it that anytime something weird happens, you guys automatically look at me?"  
  
"Maybe," Syaoran stated matter of factly, "it's because you are constantly scheming and planning and tricking people just to see if you can do it?"  
  
Eriol looked at the ceiling for a moment, then looked back at the other boy, "Touché."  
  
"So what are we watching, Eriol?" Sakura asked eagerly.  
  
"Since tonight is Halloween," he said inserting the cassette into the 1983 VCR, "I thought we could watch an old horror flick. It's called 'Obvious Decapitation'."  
  
"Oh! I love this one!" Tomoyo squeaked excitedly. Noticing everyone looking at her, she shrugged her shoulders and sighed, "You guys just don't know. This is a classic of horror."  
  
"O-kaayyy," Syaoran shook his head, turning back to the reincarnation of Clow Reed, "Doesn't it defeat the purpose of having HDTV if you are using a VCR older than all of us put together?"  
  
"Horror movies are better when they are a little fuzzy," he said making final adjustments, timelines floating to the top of the screen, "Besides, there is no better feeling than fixing the tracking yourself."  
  
Syaoran shook his head again, "Whatever."  
  
"Um, do we really have to watch a scary movie?" Sakura's voice was shaky.  
  
"Don't worry, Sakura," Eriol said as he sat next to Tomoyo, "Just because it's a horror movie, doesn't mean it's scary."  
  
"He's right," Syaoran said as he put his arm around her shoulder, "These old horror flicks are just walking clichés and mindless nudity." He stopped for a minute, "Eriol, fast forward it to the good part!"  
  
He received a prompt slap, "I'm sitting right here you pervert!" Sakura looked up to see the movie flashing by in fast forward, stopping at some sort of drunken party, with girls running around with no tops on.  
  
"Eriol! (Smack!) What are you doing!?" Tomoyo's offended voice filled the cabin.  
  
"Okay, guys, are we ever going to watch the movie?" Kero whined from the head of the zebra in the floor.  
  
{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}  
  
"Run! I'll hold him GACK!" six gallons of fake blood washed over the floor, as the camera panned up to the mass murderer, John. He had a rooster head mask covering his head, wearing a three piece suit and wielding a three inch kitchen knife.  
  
The heroine, Matilda, shuddered as John held up the (incredibly fake) head of her boyfriend. "Nooo!!!!" she screamed as she leapt up and ran out of the room, wearing only her bikini.  
  
"Wasn't she just in jeans and a t-shirt?" Syaoran asked, being shushed by Tomoyo.  
  
As fast as Matilda ran through the forest, John was keeping up with a slow walk. In the middle of an open clearing, she tripped and fell. Rolling onto her back, there was John. She leaped out of the way as he slashed with the knife, which was now about eight inches. She ran by a tree, only to trip again. Just as John approached for the kill, a voice was heard.  
  
"Stop right there you devil!" a policeman was standing about fifty yards away, his revolver pointed at the poultry headed killer. The beak turned toward the interruption. Suddenly the policeman fell over. As he looked up, wondering what had happened, John was there, staring with those beady, rooster eyes.  
  
A shot of the ground, a scream, and gallons more fake blood.  
  
"This is crap," Kero sighed floating upstairs, "I'm going to bed."  
  
{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}  
  
Syaoran stretched as the ending credits scrolled, "Ugh! I should have gone with the stuffed animal."  
  
"It wasn't that bad!" Tomoyo said, "You just expected too much."  
  
"Well, Sakura," Eriol turned his smile to the Mistress of the Cards, "What did you think? Sakura?"  
  
She was shivering with her knees to her chin, "I. . .I didn't like it!"  
  
A sweat drop appeared on the heads of the other three in the room.  
  
"It's okay, Sakura," Tomoyo sat down next to her best friend, hugging her and rocking slightly, "It was just an old movie. There is no such person as John."  
  
"She's right Sakura, there's nothing to be. . .what's that?" Eriol had started looking out the window. They were about to ask what it was when the two boys suddenly fell onto their backs  
  
"What the HELL is this!?" Syaoran asked, anger in his voice.  
  
Suddenly, the door exploded inward. Sakura and Tomoyo held each other as a silhouette appeared in the dust and smoke. A silhouette with a rooster head.  
  
The girls screamed as Eriol and Syaoran leaped between them and the intruder. Eriol called back to them, "Sakura, Tomoyo, get out of here while you can!"  
  
Syaoran chimed in as he looked back at them over his shoulder, "Yeah, get out of here while we hold hi. . .What are you doing in those swimsuits!?"  
  
They looked at each other, then looked down to find that they were both wearing (very revealing) bikinis. Sakura cried out, "What is going on here!?!?"  
  
"What are you GACK!" the girls looked up to see Eriol and Syaoran standing very still in front of the killer, when both their heads rolled off their shoulders. The bodies followed shortly after.  
  
"NOOOOOOO!!!!!!" Sakura and Tomoyo screamed in unison. They looked on, terrified as John took a few steps forward.  
  
"You will not harm them!" Kero roared as his true form swooped down from upstairs. The beady rooster eyes turned suddenly toward the Guardian Beast, who suddenly, inexplicably, fell out of the air into a heap on the cabin floor.  
  
Another swipe of the small knife and Kero, too, had been decapitated. Tomoyo pulled her friend around the room to the door, where they escaped from the cabin into the woods.  
  
As they ran, Sakura panted out a question, "Tomoyo, how DID we get into these bikinis?"  
  
"What I want to know," the dark haired girl replied between breaths, "We're only thirteen. Why are our breasts bouncing so much?"  
  
They didn't have time to come up with answers to their questions, as they both suddenly fell to the ground. They looked up to see the dreaded rooster mask, and the three inch knife.  
  
Sakura scooted backward into Tomoyo. The knife flashed, and the Mistress of the Cards winced at the cut that appeared on her arm. The both cowered as the rooster headed killer raised the knife over his head for the final strike.  
  
Suddenly, Kero appeared and grabbed the killer's poultry head in his massive jaws. With a great roar, he tore the killer's head from his body, "OBVIOUS DECAPITATION!!!!"  
  
Sakura and Tomoyo stared at him, very confused. They noticed laughter from behind them, and turning, they saw Syaoran and Eriol bent over with their arms over each other's shoulders. They were turning red from laughing so hard.  
  
"Just what the hell is going on here?" Tomoyo said angrily as she and Sakura stood.  
  
"It was all a Halloween prank!" Syaoran managed as he suppressed his laughter.  
  
Eriol continued, "I created it all with my magic. There was never any harm to either of you!"  
  
Tomoyo walked up to the reincarnation of Clow, "So I suppose the Bikinis and bouncing breasts were your doing, too?" She started strangling him, causing Syaoran to laugh even more.  
  
"But you guys," Sakura began, "My arm is bleeding where he cut me. I thought you said that your illusion couldn't hurt us?"  
  
Everyone stopped as they looked at her. Syaoran moved closer and examined her arm, "This cut is real!"  
  
"Does that mean, that John was real?" Tomoyo asked, suddenly feeling weak.  
  
Eriol stroked his chin, Tomoyo's fingers still around his neck, "The John inside was definitely my creation. That means that the real John must have seen you running trough the forest and attacked you. He must have been enticed by the bikinis. And the bouncing"  
  
Tomoyo renewed her attempt on Eriol's life, "You almost got us killed!"  
  
"But then, if that John was real," Sakura began, "Then Kero really bit off his head."  
  
They all stopped and turned to the Guardian, who had managed to turn green through his yellow fur. The bloody rooster head rolled out of his mouth. "Oh. . .my. . .God. . ."  
  
  
  
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He he he he he!!!!! How'd you guys like it? Just a little something I came up with this morning. Just in time for Halloween!  
  
Hope you guys enjoyed it! This is my first 'comedy' fic, though I don't know how funny it actually turned out.  
  
Happy Halloween Everybody!  
  
Boogiepop 


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